Today is my mother's day

You would think after 16 years, the ache would start to subside but for me, it just hasn’t happened.  The memories are vivid. It was a busy Monday morning and I was working as an assistant manager in a call center. I had just relieved my switchboard girl so she could go on a break so the call came in through the switchboard.

Caller: Can I speak to Shelli please?

Me: This is Shelli.

Caller: Shelli, this is your father and I have the news you never wanted to hear.

Me: Are you not coming to Florida? ( a visit had been planned for later in the month)

Caller: Shelli… your mother is dead.

Me: Who’s mother?

I don’t remember anything after that statement until about 20 minutes later when I came to my senses. From what I was told, I started screaming, management poured out of their offices to see what was happening. They picked me up and put me in someone’s office while they called my husband.  To this day, that is all a blank.

I quickly learned my mother had died of sleep apnea.  She died with her mask next to her head on her pillow. In the hours and days that followed, we made arrangements to have someone take over the HVAC business we owned and ran in Tallahassee, Fla. then headed to Richmond, VA for the funeral.  We flew into Richmond, stopped at a gas station to change clothes before we made our the funeral home.

It was surreal to see my mother lying in a casket. She didn't look sick or injured. She just looked asleep.  I was still in such a state of shock over her sudden death that I couldn't shake the feeling she was going to open her eyes any minute and give me that look that only a mother can give to her daughter.  My other vivid memory is some of the people that gathered at the wake were putting in a show of mourning and wailing but I knew they hadn't bothered to spend time with her in years so the relationship was almost non-existent.  For some reason, one woman in particular put photos of her grandkids (kids my mother had never seen and been introduced to) in the casket with my mother. This woman hadn’t spoken to my mother in 20 years! I was filled with fury that they were using her funeral to make themselves look caring and I decided to do something about it. In that moment, I became the matriarch of the family.  When they closed the casket, she was buried with Mother’s Day cards from my brothers and me, flowers from my father and that was it.

My mother had a rough childhood and it made her a hard person to get to know on a personal level.  Like everyone else, she had issues but hers were amplified.  However, her trials also taught her some key character traits that she passed on to me and I carry them to this day.  Here is what I learned from her:

1. Perfection isn't achievable but you should always strive for it.  Her theory was you can always improve so push yourself beyond what you believe you are capable of doing.
2. “Idle hands are a devils workshop”.  The woman believed in keeping us busy. Between chores and sports and church-related activities, we didn't have time to get into trouble.
3. Traditions keep family memories alive. Our family story is filled to the brim with traditions, especially around the holidays. 
4. A woman should always smell good. Mom LOVED Avon products and from my earliest memories, she would buy me their perfume pins. I have been wearing perfume since I was 5 years old.  I may not always put on makeup but I am ALWAYS wearing perfume.
5. Look past the hard shell of the person to see the broken person inside… and learn to love them THERE. 

Because of my mother, I love parades, over pack for trips (Mom: “It’s better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it”), am very patriotic, enjoy reading, love to surprise people with tokens of my appreciation, hold on fiercely to the family heirlooms that have been passed down to me,  take lots of pictures at family gatherings,  make homemade chicken and dumplings on snow days,  watch The Wizard of OZ every year,  love to watch sports, believe in good sportsmanship during athletic events  and clean my house from top to bottom BEFORE I go on a trip.

My mother loved God, had big dreams and loved girly things i.e. jewelry and perfume.  She refused to budge on her beliefs and would work until she dropped to achieve her goals.  Sound familiar? It should. I am my mother’s daughter.

In honor of  Phyllis Stewart Tench

August 11^th, 1942 – May 3^rd, 1999

It's time for a change!

I am tired.

And overweight.

And achy.

And miserable.

I’m tired of being tired… and overweight… and achy… and miserable. I'm exhausted but I don't sleep well. I need to exercise and lose weight but I have no drive. I have many of the symptoms of perimenopause. I feel older than I am and I hate it.

So I've decided to do something about it.

My friend, Heather Sefreid, owns Preston Chiropractic and Acupuncture and she has convinced me to try her Standard Process PurificationProgram as a kickstart to my “Taking my health back” campaign.

Since Kevin has his own set of ailments that plague him, he has decided to join me on this journey. This is a huge step for him and us. My husband is a self-proclaimed Pepsi addict and we cannot consume caffeine on this cleanse. As a matter of fact, we can only drink water and green tea and juices made from the fruits and veggies on our list. I came off caffeine a couple of days ago. Kevin was still pounding Pepsi yesterday. 

Today is going to be FUN! L

Before beginning our cleanse, we went to see Dr. Heather and she ran some initial test. Turns out I'm having gallbladder issues and my adrenalines were at a critical level. Kevin is anemic and has circulatory issues.  

To prepare, I went to the store and stocked up on the fruit and veggies that are on the list.

We've been given several tips to help us through these next 21 days:

1. Plan the meals/shakes in advance and prepare the necessary ingredients ahead of time
2. Don't let yourself get hungry. If you start feeling empty, put something from the list in your stomach.
3. Expect the first three days to be the hardest, especially for caffeine addicts.
4. You get to add lean meat on day 11.
5. After 21 days, you can eat what you want but most tend to take what they've learned during the cleanse and carry it through their life.
6.  Most women lose at least 15 lbs. and most men lose at least 20 lbs. during these 21 days
7. And so it begins. I will be blogging every day about our food choices and about the effects. i.e. how we're feeling, what we ate, etc.

We welcome you to follow our journey! 

My Aha! moment

I remember, as a young junior at Tennessee Temple Academy, being disillusioned with the tenets that dominated our particular brand of denominationalism - the independent fundamental Baptist church sect. There were all do's & don'ts and no love. One was supposed to KNOW that God loved them because, after all... He sent His son to die for us. To question any part of anything you were told was to surely bring a judgment of fire and brimstone to your eternal soul. Good thing I don't scare easy.

I remember sitting in Dan Spencer's theology class, full of frustration and disappointment as another leader in our church came tumbling down as they succumb to the desires of their flesh. I decided to bite the bullet. I raised my hand and asked THE one question we were NEVER supposed to utter. I said, "Mr. Spencer... how do you really know Christianity is the way to heaven? We believe that because we were raised in it. But the Jews feel the same way about their beliefs. And so do the Muslims. And the Hindus. And every other form of religion out there. How do you know we aren't just being brainwashed?"

Had I asked this of any other teacher, I probably would have been expelled on the spot. As soon as I said the words, the tension in the room increased measurably. Fortunately, I had a father that believed it was healthy, nay wise, to question things we didn't understand, so he would have supported my decision to question this. Also fortunately, Mr. Spencer LOVED inquisitive minds and encouraged us to ask these questions.

Mr. Spencer looked at me and smiled and said, "Good question". He then answered it with a short lesson in the history of Christianity and how we can know Jesus actually walked this earth and did the things recorded in the Bible. He also talked about other religions iconic leaders and how history records their lives and actions. There is no question that Jesus, Buddha, and Mohammad existed. So how do we know Jesus is really our Savior? He wrapped it up with the simplest and yet most profound answer. He said, "Shelli, our God is the only one that defeated death when HE rose from the grave".

That hit me like a ton of bricks. Please understand I had heard this most of my childhood so this was not a  new revelation to me but it was the first time it hit me personally. Those other leaders were great men that did great things but Jesus actually defeated death when He rose from the grave.

That moment was my Aha! moment in my religious beliefs. I knew I would not stay in that denomination once I was free to make that decision for myself. I knew there were still a lot of things I questioned regarding the things I was taught. But I also knew I had found a fact that I could cling to as my foundation.

My God defeated death and rose from the grave so that I may have eternal life.

Aha!

Belk Bowl

I am a NC State student. This means I hold my head high, howl loud and proud, and flash the Wolfpack hand sign. I bleed red 'n'white. I go to football games, sit in the student section and participate in every chant, every wave, every song. I was elated when my Michigan born-n-bred fiance' wore his NCSU t-shirt to the NC State vs. Central Michigan game. I was smug and sassy when we beat UNC FOR THE 5TH YEAR IN A ROW! Ok.. I'm still smug and sassy about that fact. And the very last game of the season... when we came back and beat Maryland... I was so full of Wolfpack pride, I wore red and white every day the next week. Today I found out NC State was going to the Belk Bowl. I rushed to the website to check on tickets and when I clicked on the "individual tickets" link, this is the page I saw:

My first reaction was shock. Of all the teams they could have chosen to put on their site, they chose our arch rivals? Are you kidding me? My next response was to vocalize my frustrations. I am a social media strategist. I own a company that specializes in assisting companies and organizations with their web presence and communications.  So I did what all social media geeks do. I took my grievance to Twitter. I found the Belk Bowl on Twitter and fired off this Tweet:

  ShelliMayfield Shelli Mayfield 

Hey @belkbowl... I'm a #Wolfpack fan. I went to ur pg to buy individual tickets for this bowl & u have the TARHEELS as the pic! WTH? #FAIL

Clearly the Belk Bowl understands the power of social media because within 20 minutes I got this response:

belkbowl Belk Bowl 

@ShelliMayfield @DAPerryThe1st The site features photos from all past games but we've updated it just for you. Belkbowl.com/ticketsBetter?

I immediately went back to the website and to my delight, the header on the page had been changed to this:

I am a happy girl. I am happy because my beloved Wolfpack is going to a bowl game. I am happy that in this day and age of corporate management and technology overload, we have a way to communicate with organizations on a much more intimate level than previous generations ever thought possible. Most of all, I am happy the Belk Bowl is wise enough to embrace these technologies, heard my distress and came riding up on their white stallion to save the day. 

Thank you to the social media team for the Belk Bowl.

GO WOLFPACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Unanswered questions...

There is something that has been bothering me since Penn State child abuse scandal story broke. Why didn't MikeMcQueary call the police the minute he saw Jerry Sandusky raping a 10-year old boy in the shower at Penn State? The same question goes out to James Calhoun, the janitor that saw Sandusky performing oral sex on a child before that. They reported the incident to their superiors?!?! Are you kidding me? I want to know more about their actions and why isn't there more of an outcry about this. Did they stop the rapes, and if not, why not? Did they get medical attention for the children , and if so, why didn't the doctor report it? I have this mental image of them peeking around a corner and seeing these horrific situations and then running off to tattle rather than intervening and confronting Sandusky. I could be wrong. I HOPE I am wrong. But the evidence speaks for itself. The public is in an uproar about the cover-up at Penn State and rightly so BUT the reality is that situation would have never occurred had these men done the right thing the moment they saw the abuse occuring.

Do I think Joe Paterno deserved to be fired? HELL YES! Actually, I think he should be brought up on charges for failing to report it to the authorities. That also applies to anyone else that had even the faintest whiff of knowledge that children where being abused and did nothing to report it to the authorities.  I don't care who you are and what title you hold. If you see anyone being abused – i.e. child abuse, bullying, domestic abuse, etc – and you don't intervene on the behalf of the victim, you are just as guilty as the perpetrator.

The final straw for me was the reaction of Penn State fans when Paterno was fired. You rioted in the streets?! I can't even begin to express my disgust that this much emotion was reserved for a leader that failed to protect innocent children. I bet these same people participated in the Occupy Movement. It is time for our society to stop worshipping men and things and power and to get back to the basics. We need a lesson in honor and integrity and morality. We need to learn to stand up for what is right, no matter what the cost. We need character.

Hitting the road with Run Geordie Run

Nothing strikes fear in the heart of a parent more than hearing the words,“We're not sure if your child will survive”. This is an emotion I know all too well. On April 9^th, 1993, my youngest child made his way into the world. He didn't do it kicking and screaming. He wasn't even breathing. Levi was born 12 weeks premature due to complications I was experiencing related to toxemia. These complications had become lethal and the only way to spare my life was to bring my son into the world way too early.

 I can vividly remember the doctor explaining the pro's and con's of whether to risk my son's life to spare my own or to take the chance and see what happened in order to buy him more precious time within the womb. The decision to deliver my son early was aided by the fact that he was born at T C Thompson Children's Hospital at Erlanger in Chattanooga, TN. This hospital is supported, in part, by The Childrens Miracle Network. This organization raises funds that enables the hospital to provide lifesaving medical care to patients like my son. Because of others generosity, my son not only survived his traumatic birth, he has thrived and grown into a strong, tall, handsome 18-yr old young man.

When I discovered the Run Geordie Run organization, the thing that pulled me in was the fact he is running to raise funds for The Childrens Foundation (Charity No. 1000013). They are England's version of The Childrens Miracle Network and once I figured that out, I was sold. This was my chance to “pay forward” the debt of gratitude I felt for my son's life being spared. I volunteered to assist Mark in his public relation efforts because I go to North Carolina State University and am majoring in PR. Mark gladly accepted my offer and an alliance was formed.

As the run was about to begin, I decided to fly out to California and meet Mark and the first members of the support team, make sure he had what he needed to get started and help him acclimate to the USA in general. The original plan was for me to be with him in CA from the time he got off the plane until the end of the first official day of the run. Then I was going to meet up with him in Las Vegas for some PR appearances, then again in Columbus, Ohio to attend my first NUFC match and finally, I would be at the finish line in NYC when he ran up the pier in Coney Island. This whole plan changed in the few days we spent in CA. He needed me to be a part of the support team until the end and I knew that was were I was supposed to be this summer, so I went home, took care of the things I needed to take care of and 3 weeks later, I rejoined the team permanently.

Not long after my return to the crew, Mark asked me if I wanted to do some miles with him. I was shocked and started laughing. You see, I am not a marathon runner. I tore the ACL in my right knee in November. I have arthritis in my knees and toes and a bone spur in my right heel. To say that I don't have the body of a gym rat is an understatement. When I politely refused his offer and reminded him I wasn't a runner, he reminded me I could walk and asked me to see how far I could walk with him. It gave him some company during his cooling down time and it would be great exercise for me. I agreed and off we went. The first day, we walked 2 miles and I was so tired afterward that I went right to sleep as soon as we got back to the RV.

That first time out was a little over a month ago. These days, weather and traffic permitting, I hit the road with him every day, sometimes twice a day. I have gone from collapsing in exhaustion after a 2 miles walk to putting in 9 miles with him yesterday and upon returning to the RV, I cooked dinner and did laundry with no thought of  being tired, etc. I am losing weight, getting a tan and most importantly, I am forming a bond with a man that I now look upon as a brother. But somewhere along the way, I decided this needed to be more than about me. So I joined Team Run Geordie Run. This is a group of individuals that are doing various things to help Mark reach his fund raising goals. We each have our own justgiving page but all funds are counted towards Mark's target for the charities. My charity of choice is The Childrens Foundation because I want to do what I can to help other parents that are facing the same fear I did when my son's life was at risk.

So far, I have put in 34 miles with Mark and I am going to continue walking as many miles as possible until the end of the run. I hope to actually be running with him by the time he reaches NYC. It would be a great motivation if I could get my fund raising for The Childrens Foundation to take off. To date, I have only had one donation but I am sure there will be more. It is important to note that by giving through my justgiving page, it doesn't take away from Mark's fund raising efforts. It enhances them since all donations get funneled into the same account and sent straight to the the charity.

If you would like to support my walks with Mark and help us reach our goal of £25,000 (that's $39872.47 for us Americans) go to: http://www.justgiving.com/Shelli-Mayfield-2011

showers are for wimps...

I am a planner and an organizer. This summer I am learning those skills mean everything and nothing. Right now, I am sitting in an RV that is parked along the side of the road on Route 36 somewhere between Atwood and Norton, KS. The planner in me had already called ahead to the Prairie Dog State Park in Norton, KS. and made arrangements to camp there for the night. What that would have meant was hot showers for the crew and an environment conducive to this lifestyle. But alas... it was not meant to be.

You see, I am traveling as a member of the support team for Mark Allison aka Run Geordie Run. Our ultimate goal every night is not to find the best campground or RV park. Our goal is to find the safest and cheapest (preferably free) place to stay that is as close as possible to the point Mark stopped running that night. We strive for this for two reasons... #1 – we are not on vacation and it is important to remember that. We are here to work and to work hard for St Benedict's Hospice (Charity No. 1019410) and The Children's Foundation (Charity No. 1000013. We do this by providing support for Mark in whatever form that requires. The other reason we live like gypsies is because Mark is funding the cost of this run out of his own pocket. He sold his car and cashed in his savings to pay for the RV and RV essentials such as gas, dumping/water/propane charges and camping fee's when necessary. I will be the first one to tell you that when I go to Mark and tell him I need a night in a place that provides showers and full hook-ups, he is more than happy to provide that for me. In exchange, I make sure I do all of his laundry ( and the rest of the crews) while we are there.

Mark is good to me so I want to return the favor by doing everything I can do to help him save money. If this means that on days like today, when he simply could not go on and I had to make the decision to either drive to the state park and then drive back to this point in the morning OR sleep on the side of the road next to a wheat field in the middle of Kansas in order to save the money we would have spent on gas... the choice was easy. The girl inside of me that rivals Monica Gellar's organizing skills is learning to let go and just let life unfold. Who needs a shower anyway? A thunderstorm is headed this way. Maybe I'll just go dance in the rain. :-)

A glimpse into the heart of the man...

The morning Mark Allison set off on his run, I had the pleasure of meeting Alan Millen who happens to be a songwriter for the Exiles. I was very excited about this because #1, I've always been a big fan of the Exiles and #2, I had purchased both of the songs they wrote for Run Geordie Run off iTunes. They wrote two songs for Mark. One is titled “Runner On a Lonely Road” and the other is “Beneath the Angel's Wings Once More”.

Later that day, I was providing support for Mark via a rental car and as I watched him climb the hills of La Hacienda what should pop up on my iPod but “Runner On a Lonely Road”. Now granted, this happens to be one of my favorite songs and is saved on a list as such in my music library but the irony of the moment was not lost on me. I snapped this photo with that song playing in the background. As I listened to the lyrics (provided below) and watched Mark run, I was lost in one of those rare occasions of hearing the perfect song at just the right moment. Alan and his partner, Tim Readman, seem to have found a way into Mark's soul and mind and translated it into music. The song provides us mere mortals with a non-invasive way of being able to experience what it is like to be Mark Allison for a day... minus the blisters and sore calves, of course

Runner on a Lonely Road / Beneath the Angel's Wings Once More can be downloaded from
http://itunes.apple.com/gb/album/run-geordie-run-single/id361829604 .All proceeds go to the two charities. 

Runner on a Lonely Road

Who knows what lies ahead for me on my way to the finish line?
The road may twist and the road may bend
But I’ll keep going till I reach the end
I’m a runner on a lonely road

Peaks and valleys, rivers to cross On my way to the finish line
Let the hard rain fall, let the cruel wind blow
Let me bear the torch, let me face the foe
I’m a runner on a lonely road

I might grow weary, I might grow weak
I might bend but I will not break
I’ll go another mile for the magpie clan
And I’ll go another mile for those mates of mine
And I’ll go another mile for the ones I love
In the darkest night I’ll see a bright light shine

Who knows what trials will come my way
On the miles to the finish line
The road may bend and the road may twist
I’ll dig deeper, I’ll clench my fist
I’m a runner on a lonely road

Sand and cactus, dry as bone
On my way to the finish line
Let the sun beat down, Let it scorch my face
Let me sweat and toil, ‘til I run this race I’m a runner on a lonely road

I might grow weary I might grow weak
I might bend but I will not break
And there’s another mile for loved ones gone
And one for the stars and the man in the moon
And there’s another mile for my heart’s delight
And there’s another mile for the Tyne and Toon
Runner on a lonely road

A changing perspective

I know what it is like to force yourself to put one foot in front of the other when all you want to do is stop. I know what it is like to have people publicity vocalize their doubt that you can accomplish your goal. I know what it is like to sacrifice time with my kids and my family. I know what it is like to not have a social life and to be okay with that because my thoughts are obsessed by my drive to succeed.

I know all about grueling journeys.

I have spent the last 6 years trying to earn a college degree. I entered the world of academia as a non-traditional student and endured the smirks of much younger students and the disdain of my generation who cannot imagine why in the world I would want to attempt such a thing.

I've always had a drive to exceed others expectations of me. I am not a perfectionist but I do believe that if we fail to push ourselves, we will miss opportunities for greatness. I think the thing that keeps that fire burning is to surround ourselves with like-minded people that serve as our examples and/or mentors.

That is what I have in Mark Allison. When I first met him, I was struck by how down-to-earth he really is. And how ordinary he seemed. You see, I had put Mark on a pedestal, where gods and heroes belong. And while there is nothing wrong with a l'il “hero worship”, it does tend to make that individual a little hard to relate to. I would read about his 3 day marathon and tell myself to suck it up. I felt bad about not being as tough as he is.

And then I met him... and I discovered he is very human. I watched him order a juicy hamburger and enjoy every second of it. Then I watched him do it again the next day. This time he made the choice to order a salad instead of fries as his side item but that didn't stop him from stealing some of mine. I watched him fight his nervousness when we entered a ward of sick children. I could tell the father in him wanted to run away from such sad images. I watched him struggle with dehydration and heard his yells as he soaked his feet in ice water for the first time after he finished on day one. I heard him bare his soul to a fellow traveler as he attempted to make sense of his own drive to run across the country.

For me, Mark lost his superhero status.... and that makes me happy.

He is still one of my hero's. I still look up to and admire him. But he is no longer on a pedestal where I can't reach him. Instead, he is by my side giving me words of encouragement and expressing gratitude for the littlest things. He is quick with a smile and a joke. He is genuinely concerned about my feelings . I can tell my happiness is important to him.

What this revelation of Mark's mortality has done for me is provide me with a new vision about my own future. You see, I don't have to be a superhero. I don't have to be perfect. I don't even have to achieve all my goals. The lessons I have learned from Mark are pretty simple. I do have to try. I have to do the best I can everyday and then be humble enough to know my limitations. I have to take the time to enjoy the scenery along life's road because otherwise, the journey was a waste.

If Mark can make himself get up every day and run as far as he can, then I can make myself get up every day and study while riding in the RV. If he can cross the finish line in NYC in August, then I can cross that stage in Witherspoon Hall in December.

Mark isn't Superman. He's an example of how a mere human can accomplish his dreams through determination and will power. Mark is a mentor. And that is exactly what we need in this world.

For more information about Mark and his run, go to www.rungeordierun.com

Ready....set..... WE'RE OFF!

Last night I pulled an all-nighter. As a college student this is not a new phenomenon to me. I am used to going with very little sleep this time of year. Tonight is different. I've been walking around today feeling like I am on the brink of a life-changing experience. It's so surreal it's hard to describe. One would think I would be extremely stressed out but the reality is... I am full of peace. I wanted to say relaxed but then reflected on how busy I have been the last 24 hours and decided “relaxed” wasn't an appropriate description.I had to finish 2 final exam projects, finish packing, and make sure I had everything I would need to make my trip to LA a success.

In 1 hour I will head to RDU and catch a plane to Los Angeles. By 7 pm tonight, I will meet a man that has consumed the better part of my thoughts for a year now. His name is Mark Allison and he is taking on a challenge I personally could never accomplish. Mark is running from Huntington Beach, CA to Coney Island, NY and he's doing it in 100 days. I can't run 1 mile. Hell, let's be honest... I can't run a block without feeling like I need oxygen and a cute EMT ;-) When I volunteered to be his PR agent over a year ago, I had no idea how big this task would become but I have surprised myself in how much I really am able to accomplish when I put my mind to it. It helps that Mark is raising money for charities I can relate to. It also helps that he's from Newcastle.

Tonight, two more Geordies will enter my life . Mark and his publicist, Stu from Tonto Books. If you know about my love for all things Newcastle, you know why this makes me smile. I plan to teach them how to say "ya'll", feed them eat grits and educate them on the finer points of country music. I expect there to be a lot of dialect confusion which should add glee to the shenanigans.

Wye Aye... ya'll

We're not in Kansas anymore Toto...

There’s nothing like waiting for a natural disaster to strike. You know it can turn out to be nothing or it can be catastrophic. Your only option is to do what you can to prepare and then wait and see. I love those moments. I am one of those freaks that loves inclement weather. There’s nothing cooler than watching a thunder storm build up momentum and put on a lightning storm that makes one wonder how people don’t believe in God. Having lived in the Southern states most of my life, I am no stranger to impending natural disasters. I’ve ridden out more hurricanes than I can count and tornado warnings are a natural part of severe weather warnings. We watch the weather channel religiously during those times and smile and nod knowingly as it skips past us or dies out before it gets here. Hence my lackadaisical attitude this past Saturday, April 16^th. Never again…

It wasn’t the wind or the rain or even the dark skies that told me this was more than a practice run. It wasn’t even the screaming bullhorn of the weather alerts that were repeatedly interrupting the weather reports I was on TV. It wasn’t even the panic in the reports voice who was frantically reporting that a tornado had touched down in Sanford, wiped out 30 homes and flattened a Lowe’s Hardware. I thought “Sanford’s 30 miles away from here so I’m safe.” The thing that made me pack my most precious possessions in garbage bags and stick them in my backpack was my dog. I have an 11 yr. old retriever and she flipped out. I had the sliding glass door open to my balcony before the storm actually hit so I could watch the skies better and she would run out there and bark her head off and run into me and bark frantically. This was repeated over and over. Finally, I decided to peek out my front door and what I saw scared the life out of me. The sky was kind of dark but the winds… the winds were straight from hell. I had to push with all my might just to get my door open and saw people being blown around the parking lot, along with lawn furniture and garbage cans. In the distance I saw clouds coming to far down and too fast for them to be rain. I saw debris flying. I shut my door to go get my camera and when I came back to the door, there was Lilly, standing between me and the door and she wouldn’t move. I finally shoved her aside but by then I couldn’t get my front door open so I grabbed the backpack, put it on my back, and shoved Lilly in the tub and followed her in there. I left the sliding door open just in case it hit my building so it wouldn’t blow out the windows and I could hear the winds and the storm come crashing down.

The storm eventually bypassed us and less than a mile up the road smashed into Holly Springs, tearing up roads and homes. It then moved into Raleigh and wreaked havoc like I have never seen before in my life. A man I go to church with lost everything. Several other people I go to church with suffered extensive damage to their property. Yesterday I rode through the campus of Shaw University and it has so much damage they have suspended classes for the rest of the semester. NC State's campus had some damage but nothing like Shaw's.

I am 2 days past this disaster and yet, while sitting in traffic yesterday, emergency crew workers came racing up the road and my first response was to look toward the sky. I never thought I'd say this but I was actually happy to see the color Carolina Blue painted across the skyline.

Drum roll please...

The Run Geordie Run campaign is starting to pick up speed at a frantic pace. I had just hit the point of wondering how I was EVER going to get everything done when, down from Heaven, floats Ms. Katy Beaver. She heard me speak at PR Day and then again in her PR writing class and she came to me and asked if she could volunteer her services. Her willingness to tackle huge task and the determination I saw in her eyes when she started to tackle her first task as soon as I gave it to her told me we are lucky to have her join the Run Geordie Run PR team.

Per Katy, "I wanted to volunteer my time and energy with the Run Geordie Run campaign because I know the opportunity of working with Shelli Mayfield and being involved with a global campaign, will allow me to gain valuable experience in a 100 day time span. When first approaching Shelli on the topic of volunteering with the campaign, I was eager to do anything for her and the campaign. I thought that I would be lucky to staple papers together or make a couple phone calls. But after speaking with Shelli and realizing that she wanted me for the entire campaign and she wanted me to dive in, my expectations were exceeded.

I am so excited to work with such a great campaign, where the idea behind the event is to benefit two charities that have impacted the lives of everyone in the campaign. I can't wait to see the success of everyone's hard work!"

May I proudly introduce my new Assistant Account Executive... Ms. Katy Beaver!

Funding for the Run Geordie Run support team

To say that life is chaotic at this moment is an understatement. I am a senior at NC State and it is nearing the end of the spring semester. For me (and most other seniors), this means a time of nothing but studying and finishing projects and attempting to finish out the semester without having a nervous break down. I am also working at Rumley Marketing in Apex as their Social Media Coordinator. I handle all the social media needs for their two main divisions: Encourage Them Ministries and Support Military Spouses as well as Support Military Spouses flagship campaign, Mission Heart Hug.

Having said all that, my true love at the moment is my PR work for the Run Geordie Run campaign. I will fly to California April 26th to meet up with Mark and a member of the support team, Stuart Wheatman. We will spend the 4 days before the official start of the run getting Mark and Stuart acclimated to the weather and the time change. We also have some media appearances we are lining up!

I recently spoke to my church group about helping out with funding for some needs the support team has in regards to accommodations and transportation. This is the slide show I shared with them.

Run Geordie Run PR

View more presentations from Shellimay.

There is a Paypal button on the right side of this blog for anyone wanting to use Paypal to donate $$ to the needs of the support teams. In addition, be sure to go to the Run Geordie Run website and donate to these two charities also. Any monies left over after securing the needs of the support team will be donated to these charities.

Don’t pay “Parking Charges”

(Note from Shelli: Because I am an AMERICAN I have the right to Freedom of Speech and so I post this as a favor to my very dear friend, Mr. Iain Purdie. He posted this on his blog but was threatened with legal action so I volunteered to re-post it here since I am based in a country that allows me publish what I want and express my opinions freely. TAKE THAT Parking Eye!)

As previously posted by Iain 'Mosh' Purdie:

The following was originally posted on the PePiPoo forums, but I thought it would be good to move it over here partly for my own reference. I found the forum when I was curious about a “fine” I got through the mail, and their advice was – correctly – to ignore it. All the details are in the posts that follow.

Initial Post

I visited some friends in Bradford a couple of weeks ago and parked the car in the Forster Square retail park, which I used to use years ago. Only, according to the letter I received recently, it now has a 3-hour maximum parking time. News to me.

As soon as I opened the letter and checked it, I rang one of my mates down there who uses the car park regularly. He didn’t know about the limit and couldn’t remember ever seeing a sign. I rang another couple and they said they knew there was a limit of two hours (it’s actually now three), and they only knew about it as they’d been warned when it was initially put in place. Lots of footie fans used to use it on a match day as it’s not far from the ground – this was the basis for the warning. They did say there was a sign… but for the life of themselves couldn’t think where it was.

I did a quick Google and found two stories from the local paper. One about a woman who’d parked there, left, come back and been fined. She even got pictures from the CCTV of the other car park she went to which proved that she had left and returned. Excel (as it was – now ParkingEye) refused to accept this and said they’d pursue her. Guess what? They never did.

Link to T & A story

The other story was about the changeover from Excel to ParkingEye. This was the tail end of 2009 and when the parking time was increased from 2 to 3 hours. Apparently the old company was ticketing people who parked then walked into town, arguing the car park was only for people using the shops on the retail park. Not the case according to the planning permission documents from 1990. All of those fines were (apparently) “revisited”. I wonder how many people got refunded?

Link to story

Anyway, I’ve got the usual £50 unless I pay up in a few days letter. Then it’s £80. Then it’s £110 + “liability for further charges”. The terminology on the letter is dodgy, as others have pointed out.

“We are happy to provide parking facilities for legitimate customers”. Well, as the story above tells us, this is irrelevant. You don’t have to be a customer of the stores to park there.

“…limited to the period clearly displayed at the entrance(s) of and around the car parks.” Obviously generic as there’s only one entrance. As stated above, I didn’t see a sign. A local who uses the car park several times a week hasn’t seen one. Hardly “clearly displayed”, then. Let’s be honest – if I had known there was a time limit of 3 hours, I’d not have parked there for 6 would I?

“On the specified date, you were the owner, keeper or driver of the vehicle in question, as such, there is a responsibility to ensure that the terms and conditions for parking, as set down and clearly displayed on the signage in the car park, are complied with.” Which, according to the many posts I’ve seen on here, is complete pants. I may not have been the keeper, owner, or driver. Transfer of ownership of the vehicle may have taken place shortly before the “offence”, meaning that ownership documentation had been in the post and the DVLA system not updated. This could actually very nearly have happened as I only took ownership of the vehicle from my mother a few days previous!

I notice the phone number to contact these rip-off merchants is an 0844 one. Further *kerching*. And also a “small processing charge will be made for any Debit/Credit card transactions”. Is this “small” as in “Ryanair small”, I wonder?

The thing is, I did actually buy something at one of the stores. I then wandered elsewhere, bought a similar item for less and returned to the TX Maxx for a refund. As such I do have two transactions a couple of hours apart that would support a claim of leaving the car park and returning later… but at the advice of the people on here I will not do so. I’ll just shove the letter in a corner and wait for the next one.

And the next.

Maybe the next.

Then the lovely silence afterwards when they realise I’m not being intimidated.

The second letter

Second letter has arrived. I’m not sure when it got there, as – I think I mentioned – I’m living away from home as a student right now.

The first thing that struck me as strange was that the charge should now be £80 as I didn’t respond within a few days of getting the original letter. Only it’s not. It is still £50 if I pay within 4 days of this letter. In other words, the box-out with the charges has just been copy/pasted from the first letter.

What has changed is that there is now one box with two pictures. One of my car entering and one leaving. Helpfully they’ve enlarged the numberplate on both as, frankly, it’s unreadable on either original picture.

Underneath this is more pseudo-legal bull-poop.

“As the owner, keeper or driver of the vehicle in question, the Parking Charge [love the capitals] that we wrote to you about is still outstanding. The vehicle is shown above, and is accurately timed both entering and leaving the car park in question, proving that the maximum time limit for parking within the car park has been exceeded. Please make immediate arrangements to pay the Parking Charge to avoid further increase. If payment is not received we may pursue this matter through the appropriate channels.”

Well, as I’ve already stated they have already failed to increase the charges despite saying they would on the letter.

In addition, as I have discovered from reading this board, “appropriate channels” consists of sending me more letters and trying to threaten me. This is the only “appropriate” channel as they have no legal ones which they can pursue.

Incidentally, I’m leaving the country in about 4 weeks. Wonder how they’d deal with that?

Third letter

The “debt collection” letter is here from “CCSCollect.co.uk Debt Collectors”. As someone else pointed out elsewhere, by a remarkable coincidence they’re registered at the exact same address as Parking Eye Ltd. What are the chances, eh?

Here goes:

The PARKING CHARGE incurred at FORSTER SQUARE PHASE 2 Vehicle Registration XXXXXX has not been paid. The outstanding charge as detailed above has been passed to us by our client ParkingEye. We intend to recover the full amount owed. If full payment can be made, we urge it to be done now BY RETURN.

If you pay or agree a repayment plan with us now, further action which may include legal proceedings will cease.

ParkingEye is determined to protect the interests of its client’s genuine customers and their ability to park within the selected car park. Payment options are overleaf or alternatively call us now on 0844 412 0344 begin_of_the_skype_highlighting 0844 412 0344 end_of_the_skype_highlighting.

ARRANGEMENTS TO PAY THE CHARGE MUST BE MADE NOW TO AVOID FURTHER ACTION.

Yours sincerely

Sam Selby

Collections Department

The conclusion

And that was the end of it. I never heard another thing from them. Just note that if you receive something saying it’s a “parking fine” then it’s been issued by the police or council who may well take you to court for non-payment – even if the fine is not legally enforceable. Exeter Council are one who very recently have been hauled up on this.

If it’s listed as a “Parking Charge” then there is no legal ground for them to pursue you into the courts. Debt collectors can yell and scream and stomp their feet, but have no rights to any of your cash. The ones to worry about are bailiffs, but you’ll never see them as they’re sent through legal methods and as the result of court decisions.

PePiPoo’s FAQ document on Private Parking Companies is a great reference.

It's been a while...

It's been over a year since I last posted something and I apologize for that but it's been a BUSY year. The 2009/2010 school year was a bear but I made it through with flying colors and now I am officially a SENIOR! Just 9 months until I walk down that aisle to become the first person in my family to graduate from college.

In this past year, I have watched my career path form itself ahead of me. I am the stateside PR manager for the Run Geordie Run campaign which has proven to be more exciting and time consuming than I originally thought but I am definitely up for the challenge. I am also consulting on several other projects, including one for the North Carolina Museum of Natural Sciences and some private consulting for some start up projects. Last month, while I was in Seattle, I made some connections that will hopefully benefit me when I start pursuing my career path after graduation.



Here's to a great senior year and much more blogging!

CHEERS!

New blog

I have created a new blog about my trip to Oxford University this summer. Be sure to follow me there. It is www.shelli-oxfordbound.blogspot.com. There's a link that allows you to subscribe via email if you want.

Step one

I just got my passport for my trip so the preparations are well underway for my trip. My picture looks horrible of course, but I am told it is like this for everyone, a requirement almost. I have to raise some additional funds for things the grants and scholarships didn’t cover so I am going to get to work on a website for that soon. I keep meeting people from the UK and I flood them with questions regarding the differences in our countries and societies. They are all very gracious and most helpful. “Be prepared to drink a lot of tea” and “Carry an umbrella” have been the repeating themes so far. One guy tried to joke that the “It rains all the time” rumor is just a myth but his laughing out loud while he was trying to hand me that line of crap was a dead giveaway. I used near Seattle so it is all good. I am fully prepared to acclimate to that kind of weather. I know all about layering your clothes and wearing things with hoods. Besides, I’m a firm believer in dancing in the rain. It cleanses the soul.

The Oxford blogs begin...

I am going to Oxford University this summer to attend their study abroad program with about 30 other students from NC State. I went to the orientation meeting tonight for all study abroad students and then we went to a meeting for all the Oxford students only. It started raining on the way to the meeting and, of course, I didn't have an umbrella with me, so I got soaked. The irony of the situation hit me.. I was walking thru the rain to attend a meeting about going to spend my summer days in a country that is known for being rainy year round, instead of in my blessed sunshine. I had to laugh. At least it was warm outside.

We were told to keep a blog about our trip to keep everyone back home updated on our travels so I guess this is the first of many to come. I can't wait. Gonna have to start a countdown once I book my ticket. Watch out UKer's... here I come!

Relocating is not an option

I am watching the Discovery Channel show called “The Verminators” and I just watched an environmentalist, whose house is totally overrun with rodents, tell the exterminator that he didn’t want him to kill the huge rats that are in his attic. He wants them to relocate them instead. Are you kidding me? I would become an exterminator just for the chance to kill a rat IF I didn’t have to dispose of the body afterwards. I will never touch one. Rats make my skin crawl period. I will never understand why anyone has them for a pet much less wants to “relocate” them. Bugs and spiders don’t scare me much. I am bigger and wear shoes (sometimes) so therefore I have a weapon. But a mouse (God forbid it is big enough to be a rat) will send me scrambling to the top of the highest piece of furniture in my house, screaming like a banshee. I am all about being kind to animals. I have a dog and a cat and they are my furry kids. Rats are not animals. They are Satan’s spawn and should be exterminated permanently. If anyone knows any good reason to let rats live, please feel free to post it in the comment section. Otherwise, I never want to hear the pitter patter of little claws scampering anywhere around me.

Tips for servers

I have been bartending a long time and have come up with some helpful “suggestions” for the servers of the world that don’t understand how they make my job more stressful than it needs to be. Here are a few pointers from all the bartenders out there to all the servers:

1) Don’t ring in your order at the POS at the bar and then stand there and wait for it. We have 3 to 5 minutes to make your drink. We will try to get it out to you as soon as possible but pressuring us by standing there staring at us doesn’t work. You forget that we have a job that is far more stressful than yours. We not only are making your drinks but we are also waiting on guest, which is your sole job.
2) Don’t refuse to help us when we ask you to run drinks or check on out orders. My theory has always been if you are too busy to help me while you are standing there staring at me, then I am too busy to make your drink and I promptly move your order to the end of the line. Hey….. I have 3 to 5 minutes…. Remember?
3) Please look at the tickets before you snag a drink. Just because it looks the same as your order doesn’t mean it is yours. Take the time to look at the ticket to see if your name is on the top. When taking the someone else’s drink because a habit for you, we have to inform a manager that you are either to over whelmed in your section to take the time to do your job right our that you just don’t care. Either way, your mistake is costing them money.
4) I have one waitress in particular that always has drinks missing. It never fails that she will say “Well, it isn’t on my table”. I finally told a manager to watch her and her tables to see if she was giving away free drinks or drinking them herself.
5) My pet peeve is server’s calling my name for something while I am talking to a guest. Number one rule of thumb… my guest are ALWAYS more important than you or your needs. I tell my servers to go behind my guest and hold up their dollar bills so that I know they need change. If they call my name, I ignore them. If they persist, I excuse myself from my guest for a minute and take that opportunity to give that server a quick lesson in manners, and then advise them to go find a manager to get them change. They leave pissed but generally, it doesn’t happen again. Do us both a favor and bring a bank.\
6) Stop complaining about having to tip us out. At Red Robin, the servers have to tip out 3 % of their sales. It is divided up between the bartenders, the expediters, and the busser’s. We make the same $$ an hour that you do but we don’t have the same amount of tables as you AND we have to split the tips between the other bartender(s). I have to chase some servers down to get my tip out a and that is crap. What if you have to chase down your guest to get them to tip you?
7) And the number one No-No of all time… DON’T GO BEHIND THE BAR!!! There is thousands of dollars of inventory behind the bar and we are responsible for every ounce of it. Nothing gives you the right to endanger my job. When I worked at O’Charleys, we had bottles of liquor disappearing at an alarming rate. The bartenders were catching hell, so I decided to hide in a corner of the restaurant after we closed and see what happened. Sure enough, I watched a server got behind the bar and make himself a little drink in a to-go cup. He lost his job the next day. DON’T GO BEHIND THE BAR!!!! EVER!!! FOR ANY REASON!!!! Get it? Got it? Good.